I felt guided to express my thoughts on this to get people to think about the quality of their communications. This post is a reminder to take care in how you express yourself to others. It can make or break your relationships.
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In regard to this Facebook video post which stated “My mouth is not a bakery. I don’t sugarcoat anything. If you ask me for my opinion, I’m going to tell you the truth, no matter what you want to hear.”
Yes, but can you be a little kind, a little compassionate, a little sensitive to your fellow brother and sister when you don’t sugarcoat when people ask you for your opinion and not just let it rip?! The world could really use more kindness. Where is the thoughtfulness, considerateness and respect in this video? No mention of that. Do you remember being on the receiving end of such a direct talking to from someone else how uncomfortable it was for you and how badly it made you feel about yourself?
I would have replaced part of the second line of this video with “I am going to tell you the truth, with diplomacy and tact. ” I know that sounds boring but it is higher vibrational. Directness to the point of tactlessness and rudeness should not be tolerated.
Also, there are the old adages to ponder in this instance. “If you have nothing nice to say to someone, don’t say anything at all” and “You attract more bees with honey.”
I know being direct and not sugar coating makes one feel powerful and righteous. These are qualities of the ego so I disagree with this premise. I believe, as so many other spiritual practices espouse, in the dissolution of the human ego for transcendence and for joy, love and peace in your life.
In addition, it is a challenge to keep your cool when you are on the receiving end when the person you are with is coming at you with their directness and not sugar coating it, especially if their sound tones are rising and it is reflected in their facial expressions. Usually, your ego wants to kick into self-defense mode.
Not sugar coating, if done inappropriately, is sometimes downright mean to the other person though you may feel real good about unloading yourself onto someone else. Sometimes when you think you are just being honest and direct and not sugar coating, it is just plain anger, vitriol and ugliness from your ego being masked as your truth. Ask yourself, are you misconstruing emotional venting as being forthright?
Bitterness, being a bully, personally attacking and accusing others and treating others unfairly is never pretty. It is not a healthy, productive way to engage with others. It is not conducive to promoting any effective communications whether it is in your personal life, work or social life. As human beings, we are social and it is absolutely essential we get along with those around us at home, work and in our social life. That means being able to talk to each other in a certain way.
If sharing your honest views on something and not sugar coating means being crass, ugly and rude. I don’t want anything to do with that. I admit a handful of times, I have reacted like this to a few in my adult life as I share below especially when I felt antagonized. Overall, I like to choose peace to keep calm and balance in my life and to keep relationships intact for the future.
To Attract and Sustain Love Relationships
Not sugar coating your words, in my opinion, will not help anyone to attract a partner and certainly, also, will not contribute to a healthy, sustainable love relationship. I have some experience in this area. Let me tell you, after being married for 29 years in a solid, fulfilling union, I have learned especially with your mate, life partner or spouse, you need to make some attempt to “talk nice” and with sensitivity to your partner’s feelings. THAT IS CALLED BEING CONSIDERATE AND THOUGHTFUL and basic components of RESPECT, major elements in all healthy, thriving relationships. If you don’t have these as the basis of your communications, you will antagonize your partner. It will promote disharmony and dysfunction. There will be a lot of unnecessary, hurt feelings, disagreements and conflicts leading to possibly separation, divorce or a life long unhappy marriage.
I am not saying you cannot be honest or direct in relationships. What I am saying is, you can but in a loving, careful way with regard to the other’s feelings.
You may be waiting for someone to love you as you are, hell-bent on being who you are with not sugar coating and telling it like it is regardless of what someone wants to hear. You may be proud of yourself and what you perceive as your “honesty” of expression. In my opinion and what I have learned since my spiritual awakening in 2009 and about people over the years, from my own relationships, from how the Law of Attraction works, from what the Universe values from the multitude of messages I have channeled from Light Beings if extreme directness is your communication style, you may be waiting a long time for Mr. Right or Ms. Right if you tell it like it is without regard for another’s feelings. Most of us are sentient beings and get easily hurt.
The Time of the Divine Feminine
The years 2017 and 2018 are times of the Me, Too Movement in America where women are finding their voice. No longer are they being passive and submissive. That is great and overdue. I support that. But… but as women let us not go overboard and say mean, nasty things when we are expressing when we are attempting to be heard. No one should talk like that to each other, men or women. Not sugar coating and using offensive words and tones just shut down the channels of communication and does not make for an open, engaging dialogue. In addition, is this what we want our children and future generations to learn?
Steps to High Vibrational Expressions with Truth and Clarity
Exercise care and discernment when you think you are being direct and not sugar coating it to someone. I created the following process which I have used as a guide to help me achieve high vibrational communications:
1) During your interaction with someone, pause and become self-aware of what is going around in your mind. Label what you are feeling inside of yourself.
2) Assess the energy of the group you are in if that applies. This is a good barometer and can tell you the impact of how other people are reacting to what you are delivering. Look at their body language and facial expressions. Sense how they are reacting. Are they getting uncomfortable? Are their heads turned away? Are their bodies fidgeting?
3) Make sure you are in a balanced state of mind when you express. Take deep, releasing breaths. Please if this requires waiting a period of time to decompress before you say, text or email, WAIT. It’ll save you from having to make any apologies in the future. Once you say something, it can never be taken back. Yes, it can be forgiven but the other person will still remember. It won’t be forgotten. Taking a pause will also help to deescalate the intensity of the engagement and possibly even defuse it.
By the same token, don’t wait too long like weeks or months to express yourself. It is important to be timely in your response but don’t let it languish.
4) Do a self-check of your ego. Look at your feelings behind your motivations to want to express truthfully. Dig deep. Make sure it is not your ego that is influencing you. Journal your feelings and meditate on it to attain more clarity. Often during this process, you may receive guidance from your intuition or the Universe including your Higher Self, Etheric Guides and/or Angels.
5) Pray and ask the Universe or whatever entity you are comfortable with that is your go to for guidance in making the right decision in how and what you express. That is why waiting a few days is always a good idea. That will give you time to receive synchronicities in your life as guidance signposts.
Do you have any other tactics that have served you well in developing honest and tactful dialogues?
The Universal Law of Karma /Universal Law of Cause and Effect
Then there is the Universal Law of Cause and Effect know as Karma. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So if you choose to personally attack someone thinking you are just being direct, expressing your truth without any sugar-coating, Action #1, there is that potentially they will respond or react to you back in the same way, an equal and opposite reaction, Effect #1. That is exactly what has happened with a few females in my past. Don’t get surprised by that. And hence, the situation may get inflamed and escalated.
The Universal Law of Karma & Age of Aquarius
If you dish it out, be able to take it. I have found those that dish it out, can’t take it. So if you are direct to the point of tactlessness and rudeness, be prepared for the fall out, karmic boomerang and the effect from Universal Law of Cause and Effect. This is especially true in the current astrological Age of Aquarius we are in where the karmic energy is amplified in order to raise the vibration of the planet and human collective consciousness. You may lose friendships or the status of relationships may change. People may withdraw from you and spend less time with you.
My Own Past Experiences
I have one family member who is so direct that she makes remarks consistently which I feel hurt other people’s feelings. I am an intuitive, sensitive Cancer water sign so I am acute to such things. With this specific family member, I have been witness to these type of engagements many a time over the years. When it happens, I cringe inside and feel very sad for the other person. I have to now ask myself, maybe it is time for me to call her out on it in a tactful way and bring it up to her attention so she can make a correction if she so chooses.
I am a channeler. In 2018 it has been shown to me in many ways with different people, I am meant to serve as a conduit and intermediary at times for specific soul tribe members to help them with their soul lessons of certain personality weaknesses during this human incarnation.
I have had instances in the past where family, including the above mentioned member, or friends were abruptly direct with me, judgmental and just plowing forward without any regard to my feelings in their haste to release their own. They were so intent to unload and get their egoic feelings off their chest, they forget to be sensitive to the person it was directed at, me! They lost their presence. When you lose you presence, it is never a good thing. You lose a sense of what is going on in real time.
After being passive and taking the higher road for many years with these individuals, I saw they were not “hearing” me. They were not listening to me. So in these few instances, I got a little louder, firmer and used cruder words to respond to them. And you know what? They heard me then!
Changing Your Communication Style for Effectiveness
I really don’t like to behave in this way, getting louder and what I feel is ugly. I feel I am going outside my nature; However, I saw they weren’t getting it the few times before when I responded in a high vibrational manner. And so I had to change my communicate style. I met them at their vibration and lowered mine. I did this to create vibratory resonance with them to be able to communicate. I met them where they were at in frequency.
Honesty, I really hope I don’t choose to do that again because it is so distasteful to me afterward. I feel like I went into the sewer. But maybe, upon reflection, it was necessary. It was an effective way to communicate with them and did lead to positive results which I did not obtain from my usual mode of communication.
Crying-A Female Response
The few times I responded back to these females in individual situations in the same low vibrational way to them, which was unusual for me, three of them started to cry! Maybe they cried because it was unexpected coming from me, a “spiritual” person and I am “not supposed to be like that.” They were surprised and had not anticipated I would say anything back like that. They were used to me not responding in that way. Maybe they cried, well, because they felt hurt and as females that’s how they showed their hurt. Well, I was hurt too from their words more than a few times but I did not cry. Just a caveat, feeling hurt is not a valid excuse to behave inappropriately back to people.
I was quite surprised and found it an interesting phenomena that some of these above females cried. Honestly, I wasn’t sad about that at the times it occurred because I was so surprised by their reaction. I know this sounds callous. I write as truthfully as I can and so I am being truthful here. These ladies put up a “tough” veneer most of the time as part of their personality. They would be the last people I would expect to cry as a reaction.
Another reason why I found crying so surprising is throughout my adult life, I did not cry as an emotional response. I do choose to get hurt but not to the point of crying. The few times I have cried is when I have found current events or life situations so heartbreakingly sad as in child abuse. It is strange because as I shared above I am an sensitive water sign. But somehow I must have developed the characteristic of resiliency in this lifetime and from prior lifetimes so I do not cry easily. I have one friend where the tears are always right there. Within seconds of an emotional situation, her eyes tear up and her voice starts to break. I find this very interesting.
We all have our limits and boundaries and sometimes we need to mark them. I did this with the above few females in my life after being passive and taking the higher road for many years. I changed the relationship status level with some family members and friends to protect myself because they did not know how to control the quality of their communications when they spoke to me. We were disharmonic in our communication style. I was tactful. They were tactless at times. I was diplomatic. They were crass at times.
I am a Cancer water sign and empathic which allows me to do my work of channeling Light Beings but also contributes to me being very sensitive to people’s energy including their words, their sound tones and facial expressions.
Emotional Mastery
Emotional mastery is the key to expressing yourself in quality manner. Do it with temperance, class and grace. This requires restraint, control and discipline. It is a practice to be worked on. There is a right way and wrong way to get your point across. Let us remember to hold the energy of love in all of our communications. In this way, you will see the quality of all of your relationships rise and become more productive.
Copyright © Katibe Simmone. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material, including excerpts as long as you do not alter it in any way, and the content remains accurate, is distributed freely or commercially, and you include this copyright notice and link: http://soulevolutioncenter.com/blog/ . ******
Welcome!
I am an advanced channeler of Light Beings. I provide broadcast messages as guidance from many different Light Beings and shares their wisdom on my Facebook, blog, videos and in my free eBook. I am unique in that I channel these Beings word for word through telepathic means. They act as high-level guides and teachers to help you on your life journey.
As of May 2017, I no longer provide private channeling sessions to individual clients. I felt guided to empower people to teach them to access their own innate wisdom through their intuition.
I had a spiritual awakening in 2009. I realized I was a spiritual being in a physical body for my highest spiritual evolution. Because of this increased level of consciousness, my psychic centers and specific upper chakras like my Third Eye and Crown Chakra were activated. I developed heightened extrasensory perceptions such as clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience and the ability to receive some information telepathically. Telepathy is a form of clairaudience.
My dream time also changed dramatically. I became a lucid dreamer as a result and have blogged about and shared videos of some of my more extraordinary OBEs.
I heard telepathically to teach what I know. I founded Soul Evolution Center in February 2013 to help you evolve into your best life. I am a published author, speaker and workshop facilitator in various spiritual and metaphysical topics. I offer many developmental workshops and certifications that can be customized in private, small or large groups by webinar, Skype and teleconference.
Namaste,
Katibe (Katy) Simmone
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