Welcome!
Changing the status of relationships may not be easy, especially if the relationship has endured a period of years. I am sharing this to help others with tough decisions in regards to making relationship changes. These relationships can be friends, family members, marriages, significant partners, neighbors, co-workers, bosses, business associates, clients and service providers.
If it is a marriage you are wanting to dissolve, I strongly advise both partners to seek out a marriage therapist prior to doing so unless there is physical or mental abuse. The marriage is a special sacred matrimonial union sealed with a unique ceremony and with the powerful symbology of the wedding rings.
To increase your well-being, spend time with people who are good for you, good to you, support you emotionally and are good for your soul. That is self-love. Sometimes a relationship may start off like that and then turn.
A sign of emotional maturity which is equivalent to spiritual maturity is learning to be being able to walk away from situations and people who threaten your ethics, peace of mind, self-respect, self-worth and values. Some people should not be in your life but they can remain in your heart. Make those decisions in regards to the relationship that is right for you. No one else can walk in your shoes but you.
Please know there are low vibrational ways to do this and high vibrational ways. Being cruel to others is never acceptable. Doing it in a high vibrational manner will not create karma for you to balance or correct in this lifetime or in your next lifetime if it is not balanced in this life time and hence carries over.
I am also sharing this blog post to teach about soul tribes which is how you are energetically connected to the major and even not so major people in your life.
My intention of this article is to share what I experienced in my life, not to air my grievances but to present them to you and how I handled it in a high vibrational way so you may gain salient, insightful information to help you. I hope I have successfully done that. The world is not changed by our opinions but by our examples.
Namaste,
Katibe (Katy) Simmone, Advanced Channeler of Light Beings, Life Wisdom from Beyond
Author*Speaker*Workshop Facilitator* Book Phone/Skype/Email Sessions on Online Calendar Here**
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I have many friends in my soul tribe and for that I am thankful. Every once in a while, though, changes need to be made to move forward in your life, to mark your boundaries as to what is not acceptable behavior and to teach people how to treat you. Our Earth is amazing but sometimes we do have tough challenges.
Life goes in ebbs and flows, in cycles like nature. These two friendships I write about in the paragraphs below about are two examples of that.
About Soul Tribes
First, let us begin by defining in general what a soul tribe is. A soul tribe is a collective of souls that voluntarily incarnated at the same time on Earth and are specially energetically connected to help each other with life lessons, karma balancing and other functions toward spiritual evolvement.
In a soul tribe, there is a mix of vibrational levels. There are old souls, accelerated advancers, spiritual newbies and for lack of a better term “spiritual laggards.” This is done on purpose. For those who know better through their many life incarnations on Earth and in other dimensions are meant to teach, guide and demonstrate to the novices higher level teachings.
It is in your best interest to help your soul tribe members as you evolve together as a unit. This does not mean you need to stay married to someone, have your soul tribe members over every week for dinner or even have live interactions or keep in constant communication with them.
We are not meant to abandon our soul tribe members. Of course, if you are in an abusive relationship, whether its physical or mental, get yourself and children to safety first. Then after some time, only when you have stabilized you may want to consider some of the practices I espouse below.
There are other ways outside of direct physical interaction to help your soul tribe members like through prayer, kind thoughts or electronic communications.
Soul tribe members are always blood relationships and then extend out to non-familial ties as well. You can have many members in your soul-tribe. Some bodies of knowledge has put this number to even hundreds. I explain the soul tribe concept in more detail in my second e-book I am currently writing.
My Recent Experiences
I am feeling free! And 15 pounds lighter! I made two girlfriend relationship status changes in my soul tribe in the last 6 months. One friendship was over a period of 18 years, the other was over eight years. These were not deep relationships but friendships that had some value to me, nevertheless.
I acknowledge my two friends are Divine Beings of Light and Love. Each one of us are. The human egoic mask they are wearing in this life time is shadowing their inner light and impeding the increase of their vibration to such a level that no longer resonates with me. For some human beings, the mask they wear is especially thick because their ego dominates their personality and they may be carrying a lot of emotional baggage from this lifetime that has not been healed yet. Mask is a word I heard telepathically.
It is part of every one’s learnings to transcend their ego, emotionally heal and become fully expressed Divine Beings, aligned with our Higher Self. That is the nature of our existence and the premise of my second e-book.
This is not only the first time I have expressed my Truth to these friends, but it marks the first time in my life I have ended friendships so explicitly and with directness. In that process, it may have caused some conflict within them and toward me. I know it resulted in some hurt feelings.
Because I am an empath, I try to avoid hurting people’s feelings intentionally because I can feel it. Unfortunately, sometimes it is a consequence or you can say collateral damage when you express yourself to others and they react out of emotionalism.
These relationship status changes were not easily undertaken, especially for me. I usually choose peace over confrontation. It was hard to do. It definitely was one of my own life lessons to learn.
My Past with These Friendships
I have been attempting for years to be helpful, kind, patient, compassionate and loyal to these two women. It’s part of my empathic nature. I had taken the higher road and swallowed a lot of my emotional responses to their low vibrational words they have said, how they have acted sometimes with jealousy and how they treated me or others. Sometimes, these projections were because they were unhappy with their lives. Of course, this was not all the time but it happened enough times for me to question the nature of our relationships.
I am aware I am presenting only one side of the story, mine. There is always more than one side. I am attempting to be objective and fair. I asked the Universe to help me with this as I wrote this.
Our Commonalities
I appreciate the good times I shared with these two friends. I look back with fond memories in gratitude. One friend enjoyed going out, trying new restaurants, listening to live music and dancing. We had those fun times in common.
The other friend had been into spirituality. We attended a few metaphysical workshops and classes together. It was nice to have a like-minded buddy and camaraderie. I could talk to her about telepathy, spirit guides and Angels without her thinking I was wacky.
Becoming Vibrationally Incompatible
All relationship changes are about human energy, including karma. We are eternal, energetic, spiritual Beings in physical form. Over the years, my commonalities with these two friends became less important. Our differences became more prominent. As I retrospect, I understand I became more disharmonic with them. As I raised my vibration by expanding my consciousness through transcendence of my ego and doing energy work, I grew more discordant with their energy. My vibration was not resonating with theirs anymore.
My Friends’ Personalities or Masks
With one of these friendships, because my friend was quick to anger, I was always watching what I said, how I said it including verbally or by text. I never knew how she would take something, even an innocent comment. So I was very mindful and careful. After some time, this became no fun for me. It took its toll.
I knew this friend was in my soul tribe. She had a traumatic childhood incident resulting in the death of a close family member when she was a toddler. So I hung in there with her out of compassion. I knew she did not have many friends because of her volatile personality and her direct, abrasive manner. Sometimes, she lacked the finer social graces. Not all the time, though.
The shadow sides of her personality was a major result of her unhealed, emotional childhood wounds. She is not the only one like this. Many human beings are carrying unhealed baggage from childhood. Are you one of them?
I admit I had some baggage from my past, most of associated with my family. Much of it I have healed since my spiritual awakening in 2009 through self-awareness, daily practices including energy work and prayer.
You have to want to help yourself and I did. I just got tired of these base feelings and wanted to be liberated. I empowered myself in this way.
Cues in My Friend’s Life for Emotional Healing
As additional signs I have noted in my friend’s life of emotional patterns needing to be healed, she had few friends. To my knowledge in the eight years I knew her, there was only one other friend she ever mentioned. It was a female that she complained about. That is a sign.
My friend socialized little, had conflicts with her co-workers, managers and customers, had not had a significant romantic relationship in the past eight years I had known her and did not date or dated very little though she desired this companionship. She had never been married and had no children. She did not participate in nor facilitate any civic, community or business groups.
Because I am firm believer in the mind-body-spirit connection, I did notice she was overweight with her body weight distributed in classic, unhealthy ways. She carried additional girth around her midriff, a sign of holding the stress hormone. She had having not given live birth that I knew of which can add some weight to that area for females. She also had some health conditions for being relatively young.
Taken all together, these factors wove a story about her. Taken individually, these factors are not of major concern.
For this friend, the incident in her childhood had a tremendous impact on her sense of self and was affecting all her relationships or lack of relationships. I let her know this when I was ending the relationship. I had known this for years since I met her but I did not share this with her till September 2017.
About Human Beings
Human beings are social beings. We came to the Earth to have a human experience, interact and play with people, not only casually but in significant relationships, through family, friends, lovers, marital partners, co-workers, etc…
We are not supposed to be hiding in our apartments and behind our computers, interacting only through social media. Some people are intro-verted but at certain levels, extreme intro-version is not emotionally healthy, unbalanced and a sign of dysfunction.
If you have no significant friends outside of your family that is an indicator for you to look at. If you hadn’t made any new, sustainable friend in years, that is a sign. You may feel satisfied with this and don’t think this is a problem but I beg to differ. Being able to make new friends is a marker of high evolution, of being personable, adaptable, willing and flexible.
Seeking Professional Help
To help my friend as I felt guided, I recommended in a recent text for her to seek professional counseling for this emotional trauma she experienced as a toddler. Sometimes, people cannot heal their emotional wounds by themselves or the healing progresses too slowly. A professional can help facilitate this. I know some people attach stigmas to shrinks but I feel they can serve as a valuable resource. It gets important issues out of the dark into the light for addressment.
My Other Friend
My other friend, though we enjoyed sharing similar activities, was a racist, anti-immigrant and had made a few derogatory comments of people of different colors and ethnicities. These are some of the divisive issues that arose in the 2016 presidential election as well. The election further delineated our perceptual differences. She voted for another candidate than I did. I have heard many friendships were broken because of differences in opinion in regards to the candidates.
To be honest, I compared some of my friend’s views to that of Archie Bunker, a character from the 1970s TV comedy show. In addition, I felt the same sort of energy from her family clan. Even my spouse, a water sign of Scorpio, sensed this from her family.
I am a Turkish immigrant, being born in Turkey. Yet, I was her friend for eighteen years. Do you see the infinite organizing power of the Universe to have us two paired together? Here she is sharing many occasions over the years of socializing, cocktails, dancing, laughing, vacationing and travelling in the same car with me, an immigrant. It was all good and we had many wonderful times and adventures.
Why did I hang out with her? I was in her life for a reason. She was in my soul tribe for a reason. Through the way I lived my life, what I radiated, how I raised a solid family, my harmonious marriage, my attainment of higher education including a Masters, working in professional jobs including receiving one of the highest government security clearances as a Federal auditor and my value system were to encourage her to flip her narrow-minded stereotypical perception of immigrants and her other discriminatory attitudes. Wow! I know that now through claircognizance, the psychic sense of knowingness. We were placed together on this planet for that reason and to share some joy together along the way.
I know some may say, “Katibe, what were you thinking? You were friends with them for such a long time.” My defense is I am a water sign so I exhibit certain characteristic of empathy and patience. Like water, I like to flow through life.
Another sign like an emotionally immature fire sign may have written these two friendships off a long time ago. Fire signs, in general, can be very bold and impatient. Some may have told them off. An air sign may have made some sarcastic witty remarks along the way of these friendships.
Well, I found out that the tactic of being the bigger person wasn’t working out so well for me with these two over the years but I was reluctant to leave the friendships out of loyalty. I was still vested. I hung in there year in and year out with them until 2017. But I did slowly start distancing myself from them in the last few years by having less personal and social media interactions.
What is My Responsibility?
At what point do you stop giving people you know a break and a pass for their hurtful words when you know they came from a challenging background? Both of my friend are over fifty years old now. They are physically mature but what is their emotional maturity?
By letting my friends get away with low vibrational behaviors when we interact with each other, I am complicit somehow, am I not? Was I sanctioning it? We show people how to treat us by what we choose to allow or not allow. When is enough enough? These were all questions that came up for me in 2017 in my relationships with them.
The Catalyst for the Relationships Change
The breaking point came with both of them when they said something to me of derogatory nature, one in March 2017 and the other in September 2017. That was the hair that broke the camel’s back. Their unkind remarks to me, their so called “friend,” caused me to take a long hard look at the quality of our relationships.
Not Getting the Message
Though I expressed to these two friends explicitly as I had been guided because the time had come to do so, why I was ending the relationships after many years, I am not sure they understood or wanted to acknowledge or change their attitudes. That is their free will.
Both of these friends, I requested an apology from and to this date, they have not extended that to me. It is important to detach when people don’t act the way you expect them to. If you get angry, resentful and vengeful toward them that creates low vibrational karma and just plain is not good for you for your energetic and physical body. No thanks! I don’t want that. I choose to respond and not react.
Why People Do Not Change
Some people stay in denial when presented with information that may be critical toward them. Or they want to continue to play the victim. That is comfortable and assuring to them. I know it may be hard for someone to accept or hear criticisms or assessments of their shadow sides. Who enjoys hearing that? Most of us love to get flattered when it is authentic but not critiqued about our weaknesses or personality flaws.
The human ego works very hard to protect its charge and can get very self-defensive. It is fragile. I know and feel some people will not believe or agree with what I say to them even if it did come from beyond and is psychically based. That is understandable. Not everyone believes in this stuff. It is prudent to be discerning when you receive information like this from someone.
My Soul Duty
I know I fulfilled my soul member duty in delivering what I did and the seeds were planted at least in my friends’ minds. I pray in the future my messages to them are heard. Sincerely, I hope my two friends take proactive steps toward their emotionally healing. My friends may need to hear the same message from another human deliverer, again and again, before they get it.
Receiving Psychic Info from Beyond About My Soul Tribe’s Life Lessons
I don’t want to be a know it all even when it is so clear to me the life lessons my soul tribe members need to learn during this earthy incarnation. Since my spiritual awakening in 2009, I developed psychic perceptions, including knowingnesses, the ability to receive telepathic information and clairvoyancy. At times I spontaneously receive psychic downloads in regards to specific soul tribe members and their life lessons. I didn’t even ask for this!
Conscious Self vs. Higher Self
To be honest, sometimes I prefer not to receive this type of information from beyond. Sometimes I am a reluctant receiver. It is TMI (too much information)! My nature is one of not wanting to invade other people’s privacy. And here I am, receiving telepathy, clairvoyancy or psychic downloads on some of my friends.
In the last two years the Universe has shown to me in different ways, I am meant to help my soul tribe members. That is part of my purpose on earth. Therefore, because I am psychically acute, I do receive information out of the blue to help them with their soul growth in this lifetime. Know, help can come in many different forms and does not necessarily mean continuing to be have personal interactions with them.
In the past year, I have taken a deep sigh, pulled up my britches and stopped resisting this function I have to help my soul tribe members because I may be found it uncomfortable ways and it causes tension.
This is a great teaching example of the human conscious self not being aware of how their Higher Self agreed to serve pre-incarnation.
How I Operate
I keep the information I psychically receive to myself so my soul tribe can come to their own epiphanies. Not spoon fooding your students and children and letting them come to their own learnings is the marker of a good teacher and a good parent.
Another reason, I don’t share what I psychically receive about my soul tribe members is because they didn’t ask me for it! And I don’t feel it will be well-received. For me to reel off to someone else what their life lessons are even if I received it psychically may not be accepted.
Some of my soul tribe members are fire signs. Intuitively, I feel they will just “combust” with the news if I delivered this to them. I can almost feel their ire now. Ouch! Therefore, in order to protect myself as an empath and being very sensitive, I help them indirectly.
The way I operate as an advanced teacher to help my soul tribe members, unsolicited, is indirectly sharing what attributes they need to develop in this lifetime through my writings, my free e-book, my workshops and through my social media, including FB. In these modalities I repeat with consistency and duration higher level teachings for my soul tribe members if they choose to learn.
The majority, like 90%, of my FB post over the past few years have been high vibrational and inspirational, of compassion, self-love, unity, peace, forgiveness, etc….It is very clear if you read any of my social media what I value and what I am teaching my soul tribe.
What I also do is ask the Universe through telepathy and prayer how I can help my soul tribe members. Then I listen to what comes into my head as telepathy. Also, I keep my eyes open and stay aware for synchronicities in the days following which may provide me with guidance. I trust the Universe will assist me and let me know the appropriate time to be more direct with some of my friends and go from indirect teachings to direct communication with them.
Another example of how I work indirectly is I exemplify to my soul tribe through my own high vibrational actions, the way I carry myself through life and how I treat others. Every day, I aspire to walk the walk, talk talk and think the thoughts of high vibration.
I Gave it a Chance
For years since my awakening and 2009, I have demonstrated to these two friends through my behaviors in how I respond to my life situations and through what I have shared in general, broadcast teachings through video and writings, the path of light for their spiritual evolution.
Over the years, I came to the conclusion the tactic of being the bigger person and indirect teachings wasn’t working out so well for me with these specific two but I was reluctant to leave the friendships out of loyalty. I was still vested. I hung in there year in and year out with them until 2017. But I did slowly start distancing myself from them in the last few years by having less personal interactions.
Divine Order
I have no regrets in what the timing was in me making these relationship changes. Everything is in divine order. Everything happens in the perfect timing I teach and write about this. It was meant to be in in how it unfolded. I don’t want to beat myself up about it. That is not self-love.
Numerology – The Power of 2017
I do feel the numerology of the year we are in, 2017, changed some of my precarious friendships. 2017 is a 1 year, a year of new beginnings (2+0+1+7=10=1+0=1)! Starting in March 2017 I became clearer as to who I am, what I stand for and how I am to serve. This is a new start for me and the manner in which I communicate.
My Own Life Lessons
For the first time in my life in 2017, I took the initiative to create change within a few specific relationships because it was no longer serving my well-being. That was part of my spiritual growth. I had to work my throat chakra, the energy center for communication. I came out of hiding from my turtle shell to avoid uncomfortable situations like I had a tendency to do in the past. It was time for me to stand up for myself in a diplomatic way. For the first time in 2017, I expressed myself through email to one of my friends then after an unkind remark she made to me.
It’s very interesting. Just a few days prior to the incident when I ended one of my friendships in September 2017, I telepathically asked the Universe to help me express myself better. I thought that was a personality trait for me to improve on. Following this, a friendship unraveled with me directly expressing myself to a friend.
Proper Communications
When making a significant relationship change, it is only fair to be honest and communicate tactfully to those so they know and are conscious of the effects of their words and behaviors. They cannot read your minds. Don’t keep it a secret. Or have them guess.
Express it to them in a diplomatic, civil way, verbally or written. Be honest but not cruel. Do this for your soul tribe member to accelerate their learnings. When one person heals, it not only heals the soul tribe but it heals the entire world because we are all connected energetically.
I did clearly lay it out to these two soul tribe members in a written form in 2017 as things unfolded, through email and text how I felt and why I changed the relationship status. It is never easy to say good-bye. I took my time in writing these and asked for help from the Universe. Sometimes, I can tell as I was typing, I was receiving channeled information to add.
Whether my two soul tribe members took the time to read my explanations in their entirety is another matter. They could have very easily just deleted the messages before reading them. That is not my concern. I did my part, my soul tribe member duty, to be clear, direct and communicate. The Universe knows and it will be written in my Akashic records.
My Preference for Written Communications
I know written communications may sound impersonal to some but I have found when there’s a written record, a transcript, that’s very important for human beings. They can go back and reread it at a future date and multiple times. Others may think texts, emails and other written communications are cop outs. To me, it allows clearer, more thoughtful, measured, emotionally stable and diplomatic dialogue. My preferred modality is writing. My first name, Katibe, means scribe in Turkish. That was no accident.
During these exchanges, I do my best to be of the highest level possible during these exchanges. Of course, I am far from perfect. But I have learned to tame my ego since my spiritual awakening.
Sometimes with verbal exchanges, things go a kilter. People misconstrue and misinterpret due to their powerful ego. People don’t hear things clearly and accurately or they hear what their mind created out of their emotional wounds and filters.
There have been times when I have communicated verbally and then I hung up the phone and said why didn’t I say this important thing or why don’t I say that. I have learned this in my thirty plus years of adulthood, including in the business world. Have a written record.
My Learnings
I learned a lot from these two tribe members for my own spiritual growth as well. Mainly, in all honesty, I learned how not to be. I also saw how unhealed emotional wounds can continue to express through one’s personality throughout adulthood. These are powerful learnings and very valid. My friends became my teachers, and I thank them for that.
Energy Body Changes as Validation
The recent relationship status changes I made with these two soul tribe members was a shaking out. I feel so much clearer now. I didn’t realize what a burden I have been carrying with these two friendships till I lifted it by expressly changed the relationship status by ending it and with reasons why to them.
In both cases after I delivered the news to my friends of the relationship change, I felt pounds lighter. I couldn’t believe it. When I tuned into my physical body and scanned it with my intention, a few days following, I felt no regrets. It was all good within me.
I am free! I feel like a new person, reborn! An amazing feeling that I have never felt before even after my spiritual awakening in 2009. You know you made the right decisions when you energetically feel so buoyant. Energy does not lie. I feel like I’m on a cloud.
Synchronicities
For additional validation to the correctness of my decision to end these relationships. I looked for synchronicities in my life.
For one of my friends immediately after I sent the text on 9/15/17, I received two clairvoyant consecutive images of a thumbs up sign. Then I spontaneously clapped for myself in the kitchen.
Within five minutes, I looked at my cell phone and saw the time was 1:11pm. Seeing repeating numerals is a sign from the universe. I took this as validation from my friend’s angels and her family meaner in Spirit that I did the right thing by telling my friend this now. 11 is a master number of the spiritual seeker in numerology and also my life Path number. In addition, I have the number one in another major number in my numerology.
Also, after I published this blog post, in my Facebook (FB) feed, there were four posts on healthy relationships! I took this as additional validation to what I had just shared.
On 9/19/17 the day after I shared this post on FB, I found a small white feather on my bathroom rug. I hadn’t noticed it the day before. It was a message from my Angels. About nine months ago, I received telepathically the Angels would send me feathers as a testament to my connection to them. I believe it was for writing up this post to teach others. The Angelic Realm and Universe love when you share to help your fellow brothers and sisters. Amen!
Alleviating Karma
Even thought our friendship status has changed, I still wish these two lovely soul tribe members and their families much love, happiness and success. I pray for love and light for them. I would be such a hypocrite, if I didn’t carry this. This is one way how you alleviate the karma.
In holding your soul tribe members in this light, low vibrational karma is not created. I don’t want to come back in another lifetime and face the same situations again with them because I karmically have not healed it in this lifetime. That is the Universal Law of Karma and how it works.
I have been lighting a candle with the intention and prayers for my entire soul tribes’ well-being including these two recently ended friendships.
I can tell, when I tune into these situations, even though they are so recent, I feel at peace. I am not angry with them or holding them in ill-will. There is no low vibration emotional charge, a good sign that I have emotional healed. If I bumped into them tomorrow, I would ask them how they and their families were doing and how their life is going.
May God bless my two soul tribe members, me & all of us! May we all continue to learn and spiritually evolve. Amen!
Soul Mission Accomplished
I am going to interpret all the above signs and especially how energetically light I feel as my soul duty to these two friends has officially ended. I did my job and delivered the messages to help them with their spiritual growth. But it is no longer my soul responsibility to physically interact with them. My mission has been accomplished.
Assessing Relationship Status
When determining if you should make changes in relationships, consider doing the following to help you. These have helped me make better life decisions. I hope it helps you.
1) Listen to your intuition and not by your ego to be guided by what feels right to determine if you need to make changes.
2) Do a reasonability check. Ask your yourself the following:
-Am I overreacting?
-Am I taking it too personally and coming from my unhealed emotional wounds?
3) Do not make any decisions or communications in haste and when you are still emotionally unbalanced. Wait a few days if necessary to calm down. Don’t let it languish though. Be timely especially when a specific event has acted as a catalyst for you to reevaluate the friendship.
4) In prayer or moments of stillness ask for help on your relationship issues from the Universe or whatever divine entity you seek counsel from.
5) Meditate on it. You may have to do a few sessions.
6) Do some journaling. Don’t rush it. Allow enough time in your writing session for your heart and mind to explore together.
Always, the Universe wants us to make relationship status changes with no ill will and pettiness within the understanding of everyone’s evolutionary level.
These are good questions to ask yourself when evaluating your relationships:
-Would you whether rather be by yourself than be in their company?
-Are your friends adding value to your life or burdening you?
-Has the majority of the relationship been solid, healthy and valuable and you are focusing only on small aspects. Assess the relationship in all of its scope. Consider the adage “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.”
-How do you feel after you spend time with them? If you feel drained and out of sorts, that is a sign.
-Do you have to work hard at the relationship or does it flow and come easily?
About the FB Photo Image
For this post, I chose this beautiful photo of a rose I took when my family visited a Connecticut winery in Sept 2017 as a symbol to always remember to do things in love. And that does not mean people are allowed to take advantage of you! No way! Or be in toxic, abusive, physically or emotionally, relationships or relationships where people don’t respect you and what you do.
Namaste.
I would love to hear your thoughts and relevant sharings! How have you handled relationship changes? What could you have done better? What were you proud of?
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